School

This time I mean this year, not the worries about next.

I was really worried about this year since I don't really talk to anyone that I didn't go to high school, and even then I still don't talk to people I went to high school with. The thing I realized is that even though people attend school and know others there it doens't guarentee that they're going to end up in classes with people they know, or the chance to sit with those they do. Today I ended up helping the guy next to me in the lab even though I didn't and still don't even know who he is. Although I know common courtesy is to introduce yourself to someone when you start talking part of school is learning to interact with those you never know and trying to get a comfortable feeling while doing so. Same goes with the girls I worked with last week. We teamed up and trusted each other even though we didn't know one another, and who knows, now that the class is moving to labs there is a chance neither of them will ever show up to a class again, but over all I'm learning to work with others, even when it isn't mandatory that I do so. Although I'm still uncomfortable I'm learning to step out a little at a time and work with others. Who knows maybe after this year I will move on to another school and out of my house, even out of country, but at least from this year I will have learnt that sometimes even the things that normally make me uncomfortable can be beaten. Even if it is because of some random person stuck beside me for one day that was a little clueless from time to time...

Maybe stepping out a little this year will let me remove that fear from the equation while I look ahead to my future.

Back to School

I've been back at school for two days now. Should consider myself lucky that one of my classes doesn't require an exam, midterm or final!!!! There is one test and ten assignments which should be fine. I have used the Simply Accounting program once before so I luck out with that, although last time was in grade eleven and because of the problems people were having with the program and therefore nothing was ever handed in to be checked as originally planned. That caused our Independent Study Unit (ISU) to be changed from using the program to completing a series of bank reconciliations...

Anyways, Thursdays will be long days since my first class starts at 11am and my last class ends at 10pm. Hopefully I will survive another year of learning, make a new friend or two, and finish the year able to move on to another program once I choose what I want to do and where it is possible for me to go...

Risk Taker

I'm not really one. I know I don't want to stay in the program I'm in because I get frustrated easily by the work. I can't stand seeing the fact that I'm wrong and can't correct it and I'm the type that if I know it's wrong I need to be able to fix it. Instead I think about staying in the business studies area, but I would rather not have to specialize. So I found a program, International Business Studies, seems interesting. I look for the program in Canada, no school here has what I want, the only university that has it is Schulich and there I would have to specialize if a miracle occured and I managed to get grades to go there (which is like impossible unless your a genius...) Instead I found an American in Japan (the same one I mentioned in the last entry).

My problem is that I'm not a major risk taker. The thought of going by myself to study in a foreign country (and not even thinking about the amount it would cost me...) makes me extremely nervous beyond nervous. And I keep asking myself if I want to go for the program because it sounds interesting and good to me or is it because I want to go to Japan and experience living there? If it is the second one, does it really make sense for me to spend so much to go study there instead of waiting until after I'm done school (and am working) and vacation there instead? The problem is my vision gets blurred and I can't seem to answer these questions myself because my nervous come up and go omg going away, foreign country, only coming home for summer, rarely seeing your family, being in a foreign country and I go back to trying to think about other things rather than worry...


I know this is so similar to my last post but lately is one of the only things on my mind and I would really love to hear what others think. Although it won't make the decision it may help clear my thoughts while thinking.