and thinking about how I look to do something more exciting yet everytime I sit there and try to see if the benefits outway whatever I consider the costs... The only problem is by doing this I never do anything... I want to do something, get published, try to do something that I would normally look at and then put aside, and I'm trying to but I like things the way they are where I know I have some form of comfort, yet I always watch shows were the characters do whatever they can for their dreams and wish I could be like them, but I can't even do something like go study international business in Japan. And no it's not my life long dream to work in an international business but from my point of view now it would be better then spending my life pouring over documents making sure everything was prepared properly and the rules were followed... and currently I'm on the path to the second one. Ask any of my friends and they would tell I would love ro go to Japan, even if it means not following te original path I had planned, and at this point it doesn't matter cause I want to change this path and change my future, but really if I could do anything I would go back to what I've wanted for years, to be published, but because I know my chances are low I will stick along a safer path while working towards that. The only problem is not exactly knowning what that path should be anymore. But if anything I wantt to have changed something by this time next year, and not be sitting in my own room at home thinking that I really don't want to continue this way...
Another post where I was just going with my feelings so sorry if it's a little random and doesn't completely make sense... want clarification on anything just leave a comment
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