Why does the idiot have to be so cruel to us. I don't just mean me, I am talking about my siblings as well. He comes into our family and basically tells us that we are wrong. It doesn't matter that everyone makes mistakes, that everyone gets made, and says or does stupid things, but sometimes he blames us for to much. Recall the incidence over the dehumidifier, you shouldn't yell at me if all I want to do is what for my brother to turn up the tv. You can't say that we are all disrespectful, everyone has their bad times. We fight with our mom a little bit, and he'll come and tell us to stop being so disrespectful to her. Everyone argues with their parents, its normal. You cannot always agree with everyone. Fighting with someone who has higher authority does not make you a disrespectful person.

Its not our fault with him being away so much when his own kids were teens, that he didn't see this to much, or even if it never happened in his household. Or the fact that when he is working with teens in the area, they have to respect him. Sure, you show respect to adults, but you can't do that all the time, or how are we to learn about standing up for ourselves.

Its like a fight. One kid says something to another. To protect his pride, the kid who was insulted fights back, whether they push one another, or automatically break out into a fist fight. It is the same in a household, sometimes you have to stand up to someone else, even if you are suppose to respect them.

Somehow, I believe that people must learn that others get hurt. You may not like to hear what others say, but it is not like you can blame them. What is the point of hurting someone to make yourself feel better about someone else being hurt. I don't think that the idiot yelling at us helps my mom feel any better when we fight with her. Why? Because then she sees that the idiot pushes us farther away from her when he does that. My mom loves us, even if we she doesn't always defends us, but it hurts more watching someone you have loved since the day they were born look at you crying, if not already in tears, and leave because they cannot handle being around someone like the idiot.

I have to say that I must have walked out of the house in tears at least 3 times due to the idiot. Yet rarely before that was it because I was hurt. Sure their were times when I would leave, but that would be to calm down, not because I had to escape, not because there are days when I feel like I am in prison.

What happens when the place you are able to escape from the world, no longer is an escape, it is just as bad as what you are trying to escape. Where are teens to go when they no longer are able to call home, home. Whenever we discuss home in school people bring up the ideas of warm and loving people, a place where families happily gather. I want to laugh, especially, since the idiot moved in. I have comes to describe home as a dark place, a place where you get hurt by those who are suppose to love you, where you count down the days until you can have peace and quiet, where you live for the days when everyone has gone out, and where you escape to a book, a blog, a tv show, or something else so you can feel a little better.

I believe that people shouldn't have to live this way, but the world is far from perfect, and for people like me, until you are able to escape it all, find your peaceful place and keep it to yourself, let it be your own, until one day you are able to escape from home.

Beyond Tired

So last night, seeing as my aunt and uncle were out of town, my siblings and I decided that we would go oiut for a visit. It is about a 45 minute drive from our house to theirs. We go out there, and order pizza while we played GH on Wii. The guitar can be quite annoying when it makes a sound everytime you miss a note. Although when playing Through the Fire and the Flames on expert during battle, seeing as you can't die and my sister wanted to, it pretty much became part of the song. I won once after playing four times, but on the one that I did win, I would have won against anyone, cause overall I had the best score.

After that, we watched Fool's Gold, which was kind of predictable, but over all ont to bad. We left around 10 so that we would be home before 11. The only problem about country roads, is it is easier if you have the high beams on when you are driving. Of course with the high beams you have to keep an eye out for other cars on the road so you know when to switch over to the low beams. That and while we were driving down the road a deer ran out before us, luckily it had finished crossing the road by the time we reached where it was.

I got home, and stayed up until close to 5 this morning watching Naruto online and reading manga. Of course I got in trouble at 11 this morning, because it turned out that my mom had already yelled at me to wake up. So I get up and help clean, then my mom starts to get worried because we had dinner guests coming and had to finish cleaning the house. Which went fine and we were done by the time the power went out.

Well, I guess I should head out and join everyone else who are alreay eating.

Evil Weather and the Rest of the Day

So this morning I wake up, it's all nice out. I go to school, check my exams, get my report card. It turns out that they money the school was going to save on not mailing out report cards will be replaced with the cost of mailing out final schedules for next year. I go back home and it is still nice out. Nire and I decided that we are going to hang out at her house. Okay, a good time to pull out the bike. So we set up a meeting place, close to her house, kind of on the other side of the city from mine, but whatever, her house has the swimming pool, which is why we are going there.

So, I figure it would be the perfect day for a bike ride. No rain, not to hot or anything. In less than 3 hours the weather went from nice to horrible. The 45 minute bike ride, became the ride through hell. At least it cooled down slightly closer to her place seeing as it is closer to the lake. I swear the bike ride felt like it had taken hours. Add on the fact that the seat for my bike needs to be raised, so my knees started to kill me every now and then.

At nire's house the first thing we do is go swimming, which was quite good after the bike ride through hell. Of course we seemed totally hyper even though neither of us had yet to eat anything majorly sugary. After a while it becomes a good idea to ride down to the bowling alley for a game. Luckily the guy let us bowl, seeing as the lights weren't working for him and stuff. Nire won the game again.

From there we head closer to the lake to get some ice cream. The ice cream was good, we went to the same place I used to always go to as a kid. It had changed so much from the place I used to sit in and eat ice cream with my siblings/cousins. You can no longer eat inside, I had figured from all the traffic I had seen earlier, that the carousal must be opened and running. While finishing off our ice cream, I tried to convince Nire that she must ride the carousal. Then some voice came on over the loud speakers, and Nire was pretty sure that she recognized it. It turned out that the guy doing the announcing over the speakers goes to school with us. I had to laugh at Nire though, she was so embarrassed that I was forcing her to ride on the carousal (the line was filled with kids/babies with parents).

Of course during our little endeavour around this area, I was stuck in my swimsuit, which stuck out at the start bowling, but looked more normal as we closed in the distance between where we were and the lake. At least I didn't have to ride my bike home, because somehow I don;t think the weather will be predictable for the next couple of days.

School's Out for Summer

I have written my last exam, and have handed in every assignment. I only have to return on Friday to get my report card and check my exams. I feel kind of bad for Nire though, she signed up for summer school, so she only takes 7 classes next year. At last I can relax and have fun.

Computer Crashing

The slow computer finally decide to crash. The only problem with that was it crashed Friday night and I had a religion community service paper due Tuesday. So I had to type it on the stupid laptop which doesn't like me. Send it to myself and than print it out before class started.

Exams

My least favourite time of the year is upon us. Examination time. Again this year we end up writing exams in the classrooms. Normally we write in the gym/cafe but normally it is hot and horrible to sit through. Last semester was in the gym seeing as the middle of winter is okay, but when it is suppose to be, you know, hot or something, I go to school wearing the uniform sweater that I haven't worn since Easter since we don't have to (the vest I have worn, but not the sweater) it was that cold. That and wearing the uniform while writing the exam makes it seem like a large test.

The government was stupid to lower the number of exam days we can have. So for our school to be able to find out if the grads are actually graduating our exam days were pushed back into our school days. Today we had to go write our first period exam and then attend class. I was going to leave early to study but 'twin 2' (who really needs a better name) and I planned to study together and she wanted to attend the 2 classes she has (stupid co-op has no exams). So I stayed the entire day. By the time I got to physics (my last class) I was the only girl left with 9 guys. No one else showed up to the class. So I mainly actually focused on studying in class, but its my last exam.

I gave up on studying already, I know I should but I figured I looked at the question I know is on the exam. Right before I go into my accounting exam I plan on memorizing the net income so I know if I have it right or not. Also having an idea of what the worksheet over all looks like would be some help. Somehow I'm not so worried about this exam even though I need at least 92% on the exam to keep my mark, and 97% if I want my mark to up 1%. At least the teacher believes that test are for harder questions and exams for finishing to make sure the have the information learnt. You can memorize something right before a test, but an exam takes more knowledge so it proves that something stuck.

What I don't understand are people who pull away from the rest of the world during exams to study. Even though its a big part of school, studying to much isn't the greatest. I will confess that I probably don't study enough, seeing as I didn't even finish the math review before the exam, but I can't study. I could sit there and try to force myself into studying but I find that to harsh. People need to take a break and learn that they know most of the stuff. Mainly what they have to do is learn what they are unsure about. Don't second guess what you know. Sure you should review it but don't over do it. People tell you need to study, but don't forget about yourself. Who knows more about what you need to study or how you should study. People tell me to study in a quiet room by myself, but I can't stand it. I need music playing or a tv on. Which caused a problem 2 years ago seeing as my sister needs the quiet.

Evil exams :@

Rant

So, I was watching a movie, my brother had turned off the dehumidifier because the air conditioning is loud enough with out it on. So my mom realizes that it isn't on and asks why, so we tell her. The idiot (aka the person my mom married) comes up while I'm telling my brother to turn up the TV while I turn the stupid thing back on. My brother being my brother wouldn't. So the idiot comes over to turn it on, I cover the button and tell my brother to just turn up the TV. He won't and when the idiot pulls the dehumidifier away from my, I yell at him to wait a minute, and then I yell at my brother to turn up the TV, since he has the remote. I walk over and turn up the TV, and yell at the idiot again that he could have waited for my brother to turn the TV up. he starts yelling at me about respect, then goes on to call me, and I quote "a disrespecting son of a bitch". I can tell you that my mother heard everything, so I wait a minute to see what she say. She stays quiet.

I really can't believe it. The one person who I should believe would stand up for didn't. I mean sure I have been threaten with being sent away to school (which I would know to be an empty threat). But to stand there and here me being called this I don't understand.

Really mad at this point I grab a pair of shoes, and leave slamming the door behind me, and just start walking. Seeing as I didn't think to grab my phone I head over to my grandma's house. No one was there, so I had managed to freak myself out because I swear I heard someone walking around. I come back, and without fail, my mom and the idiot left to get where ever they are going, and my mom has no concern for whether or not I come back. Especially since she knows none of my friends phone numbers.

Books and Hanging Out

Seeing as my brother is still not ready to hand over the guitar for the GH3 game, I figure I could write another post.

So this past week I read Stephenie Meyer's latest novel, The Host. It took me two full days of reading (through school and after, but I was also writing a paper at the same time). It was really good. This one opens peoples eyes to the flaws in the human race, but also why we are good. To anyone who has the time and patience to read 600 pages, I suggest you do read it.

The book store in my area is holding a Midnight Masquerade for the release of Breaking Dawn. A group of my friends and I are all planning to attend as a group. Nire wasn't positive about dressing up, but I told her we would force her to. Arved who I thought would be the least happy about dressing up, was totally into the idea. We are each talking on a different character from the books, and are going to have a great time. hopefully Eel and Ski are done the rest so they can join us on the all night reading sleepover. We still need to confirm who is who, but that is pretty much in place, only Ski needs a character, and I got Alice as I had hoped. The only other problem, is whose house to go back to and makeup.

Friday

It seems really weird, I'm used to being home on Fridays due to my friends having busy work schedules, but lately I've been able to hang out with at least someone one Friday night. Nire and I had plans to go to the mall to finish buying Arved's birthday gift, but are our plans were canceled by someone else.

Today was recognition day, which I managed to sign out for. The only problem, even with a note from my mother, with no plausible excuse I had to get a VP to sign it. That was a waste of time, I walked over to the VP said I need my note signed. He asked why, I told him, all he did was look at it and said "Your mother wrote this, so I will sign it." Technically because my mom wrote the note they have to let me leave. If they didn't let me sign out, I would have told them to watch for me in the gym, I would be the one fainting from the heat.

In exchanged for being signed out at 10:15, I had to do the dishes and shut the windows to turn on the air. I still can't believe the weather up here, yesterday it was cold, and to day it was beyond hot. #1 reason not to attend recognition day- the assembly from 10:15-12:00.