Reflecting on an Old Post

I was reading my old post from the start of this past school year and decided that I wanted to continue on with what happened. This was the post about being uncomfortable talking to new people. Well I managed to do okay with that. In one class we had assignments that could be done in groups of up to three people. Although I was not the first one to talk with both the girls I did manage to work with them in groups for both assignments. Although we didn't talk outside of class I did still manage to talk to them without it feeling extremely uncomfortable.

I did manage to do a little better than that still. The labs I had mentioned in the post did me some good. The first day I ended up sitting next to a pair of friends. I mainly talked to the girl who was directly next to me, but did help the guy on her other side a little. A few days later he realized that he sits directly in front of me in another class. We both were heading to a computer lab to finish our assignments after class so we worked together to finish the assignment due that day. I ended up talking to him by the end of the semester from working on the assignments for class in the same computer lab. The following semester we both had the same classes and most of them together. One day a week we basically had the same breaks so we began working on homework together then. He reminded me of one of my other friends especially when he didn't understand things so the past couple years of explaining things to my friend really helped.

I quite happy to say that I have improved a little in my ability to talk to people I don't know. I even start a conversation with someone who was in all my classes. Lent my book out a few times, once in class and when the guy who was sitting next to me said he didn't agree to share his book with me before I lent mine to the guys in front of me I had talked to him enough that I was comfortable to state that he would share.

Who knows maybe with the next school year I will improve some more :)

Hello Again...

I really do want to try and get back into blogging, especially since writing things out help clear my mind sometimes. I'm still majorly (to the point of getting ready to apply) looking into changing schools and programs. I'm thinking film since I've always had a love of plot lines and this will allow me to continue to grow with my creative side. Plus I believe the work would suit me better. I'm really not the type who likes to be locked up with repetitive tasks. The only thing is anyone who I bring this up to believes that I should stay in business (before I say film school and just state switching programs, except for one person who still says I'm to good to leave business [which YAY!! but still]).

The hard part is after spending two years in one program and spending 3.5years focusing on this job I'm worried about making the wrong choice. That in the end I will fail or decided that it's still not the right path for me. It makes it so much harder on me since I am such an indecisive person, and to make such a choice just makes me want to stay where I feel comfortable rather then change.

Looking Back, Rocks and Water

Since school has started up again I have retreated back into my old self. The one who even if she has an opinion won't say it out loud. The one who thinks quietly how most the class is stupid at times due to the fact that they can't figure out a simple thing. I was hoping that being in my last year of school I could change myself a little bit. Become a little more bolder, and show who I really am. I'm not the quiet girl who has nothing to say. I just think to much, and want to be careful about what I say before I speak.

It is funny since back in elementary school I could speak with anyone and it wouldn't be weird. Now to hear me speak up in class with out being called upon is an amazing thing. I faded into the shadows of the world. I'm unnoticeable. I spent the last two years of grade school, smacking one guy in the back of the head every time he bothered me, and yet I haven't spoken to him once since we started high school.

Of course, I'm happy some people don't change to much. Cody hasn't changed much at all. Every time we have a class together, he manages to end up sitting near my and trying to bug the hell out of me. It's as if he hasn't matured since I first met him in grade 2. It's like grade eight, where the boys discover that you can create the idea that someone is cutting your hair with out changing it. Cody repeatedly did this to me. I had started to ignore it until he asked me 'what would happen if he cut my hair?'. I turned around to see him holding my hair in his hand. He had cut out a bunch. Luckily it wasn't noticeable at all.

Grade ten, he sat in front of me in science. I was helping the girl next to him with her work. I had finished mine and was having trouble explaining to her the work due to him kicking her. I told her to trade spots with me for the class so that she could finish her work. The first thing he says to me when I sit next to him, 'You wanted to sit next to me because you like me, right?'. I was able to laugh at it because no one sitting near by ever knew that I had liked him in grade school.

Then nearing exams last year we were both late for our classes, as in we were the only people standing in the hallway. He asks to borrow a pen. I didn't realize I had left it at home and started to search my pencil case. He stood at my locker, books in hand, waiting to see if I could find him something to write with. A teacher came by asking why we were still in the hallways. Of course the teacher happened to be teaching the physics class I was in at that time. Cody looked straight at him and said, with a straight face, 'I'm waiting for my girlfriend, she's kind of slow.'

It's weird to think that this one annoying person helps. I'm at a place where everything is changing majorly. Yet, this one guy hasn't changed for years. He is still immature and completely set out to bug me, yet he is proof that sometimes changing only slightly is good.

Another guy who hasn't changed is Arthur. I haven't known him as long as Cody, but he still hasn't changed. In grade seven a rumour went around saying that I liked him. I was being bugged about who the top three people that I liked were. I gave three random names, asked if they were in order and said yes. I had told all my friends that the guy I liked didn't go to our school, but no one believed me. I didn't have to deal with him in grade nine which made me happy, but in grade ten I ended up picking him as a partner in business. There was few left and he seemed like an okay choice. The biggest problem was that he was still beyond immature. Even now he has yet to grow up at all. Proof that some people need to change.

It doesn't really make sense to me. Someone staying the same is good, yet someone else its bad. I do understand a little bit but it really doesn't clarify anything.

Another person is the guy who joined the school community last year. We had two classes together first semester, three second, and were both in choir. Because of this we had started to talk to each other. Looking back it may have been better if I loosened my mask a little, rather than shaking my head and rolling my eyes when he said something that was slightly funny, I could have laughed.

Maybe I could have been a little more truthful when he encouraged me. After singing in choir there would be days when he told me I had a good voice, as well as once randomly in English after I read something. Maybe when he tried to figure out why I wouldn't try out for the play, that there was a chance I would get something. My answer was that I couldn't really act. He laughed and said neither could he, but that didn't stop him. The truth was more along the lines of fear of rejection. Every time I aimed for something that I looked forward to I would drop right back down to the bottom. Being told I was good, yet not making something meaning I wasn't good enough. That there is one trouble with school and that's teachers choose favourites.

Some people think that I don't stand out, I try to blend in with the crowd. I can't do either. When I'm with those I trust I'm fine and I am me, slightly crazy, completely klutzy, and ready to make a fool of myself. To think that I changed so fast over one summer. Went from being a girl who couldn't keep her mouth shut, to not being able to open it. I think to much about how others will respond.

The grade school I went to, my class was fine with everyone. You could talk to anyone with out thinking. The other grade schools in the area broke up, by the time they were in grade eight they had cliques, didn't go outside of their group. My school broke up into these groups. Outside of school we may talk like nothing has changed, yet in school we become quiet, strangers even.

Not only is my life changing like water, but is staying absolutely still like a rock.

I Survived!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm alive, and the first day back at school is over. It was beyond boring!!!!!!! Turns out that the english teacher I had in grade 10 got married so I have her again, but I didn't realize it so its a repeat teacher. I laugh at my brother because he has the science teacher that taught and hated me, my sister and my cousins. It was quite funny to see the look on her face last year after I told her we were all related and that there is more coming.

English~ I don't like the seating plan in english right now. The teacher used the alphabetical order, meaning I sit by people I don't really talk to, and I don't even know who one of the guys in my class is, so he must be pretty new.

Spare~ I talk one girl on my spare. We found some guys who don't hang out with the preps on my spare to talk to. The best part is that they were in the library, rather than the cafe, like everyone else on spare was doing. So today we talked while the guys worked on their homework (I laugh at those who have bigger assignments on the first day of school).

Lunch~ There are people on my lunch again. We moved to the second half of the cafe this year, so we are in the glass part, with the two tvs (not including the announcement one). Someone is bringing cards tomorrow so we have something to do. I might find a deck for spare.

Math~ Functions, boring so far. Nire sits next to me. The teacher made a few mistakes when writing down the equation, I noticed them right away, pointed them out to Nire, and silently laughed when she got to the end and said that the wrong answer was the answer. Then I was silently laughing again when Nire had to point out the mistake, realizing that I would sit there laughing silently at the class who can't remember antything. Then one of the other guys in my class had to point out an adding mistake. Plus tomorrow there is a test on everything from grade 11, of which I remember nothing so good-bye chance at having a good starting grade.

Peace and Politics~ I sit at the back of the room with Ski. She was sitting with one of the guys from my spare, and the guy behind them was sitting by himself, so he moved up so we could sit together. We discussed what we would learn and what movies we may watch, while I was counting down the minutes until the end of class.

Now I'm staying up so I can finish backing up the new computer that I set up today. So tomorrow is another day, and hopefully less boring.

Exams

My least favourite time of the year is upon us. Examination time. Again this year we end up writing exams in the classrooms. Normally we write in the gym/cafe but normally it is hot and horrible to sit through. Last semester was in the gym seeing as the middle of winter is okay, but when it is suppose to be, you know, hot or something, I go to school wearing the uniform sweater that I haven't worn since Easter since we don't have to (the vest I have worn, but not the sweater) it was that cold. That and wearing the uniform while writing the exam makes it seem like a large test.

The government was stupid to lower the number of exam days we can have. So for our school to be able to find out if the grads are actually graduating our exam days were pushed back into our school days. Today we had to go write our first period exam and then attend class. I was going to leave early to study but 'twin 2' (who really needs a better name) and I planned to study together and she wanted to attend the 2 classes she has (stupid co-op has no exams). So I stayed the entire day. By the time I got to physics (my last class) I was the only girl left with 9 guys. No one else showed up to the class. So I mainly actually focused on studying in class, but its my last exam.

I gave up on studying already, I know I should but I figured I looked at the question I know is on the exam. Right before I go into my accounting exam I plan on memorizing the net income so I know if I have it right or not. Also having an idea of what the worksheet over all looks like would be some help. Somehow I'm not so worried about this exam even though I need at least 92% on the exam to keep my mark, and 97% if I want my mark to up 1%. At least the teacher believes that test are for harder questions and exams for finishing to make sure the have the information learnt. You can memorize something right before a test, but an exam takes more knowledge so it proves that something stuck.

What I don't understand are people who pull away from the rest of the world during exams to study. Even though its a big part of school, studying to much isn't the greatest. I will confess that I probably don't study enough, seeing as I didn't even finish the math review before the exam, but I can't study. I could sit there and try to force myself into studying but I find that to harsh. People need to take a break and learn that they know most of the stuff. Mainly what they have to do is learn what they are unsure about. Don't second guess what you know. Sure you should review it but don't over do it. People tell you need to study, but don't forget about yourself. Who knows more about what you need to study or how you should study. People tell me to study in a quiet room by myself, but I can't stand it. I need music playing or a tv on. Which caused a problem 2 years ago seeing as my sister needs the quiet.

Evil exams :@

13 Days in March

I have counted 13 school days total in March for me, so its 2 down 11 to go. March Break starts on friday. The schools in my area decided to give us a travel day, i know a bunch of people who are leaving thursday instead of friday, which means thursday is know the day to skip if you can, most people will be gone. After March Break is four days of school, because that weekend is a four day weekend- Easter weekend. And its raining outside, there's suppose to be snow, and ice, and hopefully a canceled day for school tomorrow, or at least no buses.

New Semester

So the new semester has started. Okay it's been about a month since it started, but whatever. My classes this semester arn't so bad, I have physics, religion, math, and accounting. That and one of my friends is leaving for 2 weeks. But the best part of the uocoming month, is that it is March, which means March break, and since Easter is early this year overall I only have 13 days of school.

A Smoking Computer, and Annoying Exams

Leave it to me to be on the computer when smoke starts come from it. The moniter died beyond belief, it didn't stop working. No it had to go out with a bang, or a smoke. At least its the end of the 1st semester so I didn't any work left that I needed it for.

With the end of semester comes with exams. finished chem already, which wans't bad. All thats left is bio, english and law. I f I survive them its a long weekend for me. :) But first studying and writing exams. At least after bio is done it will all be easier. :)

Christmas Break

Christmas break has officially started for me today. After sitting through the Christmas assembly, an hour of nothing. Seriously the student council at my school think their hilarious, but they really aren't. Nobody had a clue what was funny about it, which followed the jokes that were booed. No one really laughed at the little skits. They best part was cheering to try and get teachers up on the stage to dance/sing. That and when students themselves were actually participating in the random stuff. Also congratulations to the band (made up by gr.11 students, 3 of which are in at least 1 class with me, 1 isn't in any), they weren't half bad. Better than the students who couldn't complete the end of the carols in a battle of the grades contest, the gr. 12's won, which doesn't make a difference seeing as they always win due to the fact that student council president is in gr. 12.

Snowfall and a Concert

Well I'm in the region that got hit with a major snowstorm on Sunday. The roads were horrible, but since I was in any of the cars that got stuck, I just laughed at those who could barely move their car. even after the major snowfall there was still school on Monday, but because my mother was being nice and it would be a horrible walk to the bus stop, I had a personal snow day. Which of course didn't matter because most people didn't realize there was school. A part of the problem was that the 2 VPs were standing outside at the driveways to keep people from pulling into the parking lot. The only reason they were doing that though was because the school parking lots had yet to be cleared for student use. So over all I didn't miss much, especially since I was to miss most of the day for the feeder school concert. Which I was told turned out to be horrible.

Which brings me to today, and the public production of the school's concert. This year the choir and other talented singers singing favourite Christmas songs. It was so sad that the Chipmunks Christmas Song had to be canceled due to the fact that the guys singing it were unable to find the music for it. After taking the time to learn the lyrics and get those helium filled balloons to change their voices it annoying squeaks. Although I did tell one of the guys that while he was gone they would all magically popped. He looked at me like I was crazy. I must remind him one day that I must get him back for forcing me to do the can-can and some other weird dance (the one where you bob up and down at different times to the beat) while waiting for our turn to sing at the school board dinner., It was to bad 'cause he forced my friends to dance to, but I'm usually a quiet person, who usually doesn't dance like that when people from other high schools are staring at you like your crazy. It was fun but he now tries to convince me and my friends to dance with him when he is waiting for a practice to start before an assembly when he randomly walks by listen to his iPod, leaving us to dance to music only he can hear.

Either way back to the concert, it went pretty well tonight. No major mess ups other than the drummer for one band not showing up, and something going wrong with the sound system in the middle of Carol of the Bells. I'm surprised that it went so smoothly, usually there are major problems with the sound system. The one mic wasn't working for one song so the two singing had to share, no major feedback, nothing really it was quite amazing. Actually what surprised me was the band who lost their drummer and was unable to sing the song the originally planned on, did a great job with singing White Christmas, so congrats to them!!!! :) Overall it flowed smoothly and I'm happy it's over because I had to stand on the stage for over an hour. Hopefully the assembly tomorrow and on Friday will do just as well.

It's That Time of Year Again

The time right before the break where teachers try to finish a unit, or give tests and major assignments to students. This week has been and will be a horribly busy school week. Law test on Monday (when I told it would be on Tuesday by the teacher), Bio test that I had to write after school on Tuesday, ISU essay for English, on the play Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw, due Wednesday, I was suppose to have a chem test on Thursday (tomorrow) but I still don't get the unit because I have been to 4 classes since the start of the month and missed a week and a half in November so I get to have someone teach it to me and hopefully be able to write it next Thursday. Then I have the bio test for the unit on plants that we just finished on Friday. On top of all that I have my extra vocal course in which there is one more practice before we have to perform our song in front of the class, which is really small, and my group is no where near ready. And I have choir, singing at the mall on Friday, YAY!!!! no Law, a class that is made completely pointless by my class, who can go from certain laws to hunting [which happened today, but I was trying to finish Chem homework instead of listening], a 2 hour concert on Monday for grades 5-8 for the feeder schools for the high school I attend, followed by a 2 hour one the following night for the general public and then on the Wednesday there is a school gathering at which the choir gets to sing at again. Somehow I won't have any time to rest until Christmas break when I'm working on my Chem ISU, Law ISU, and Bio culminating assignment. Plus I have yet to start shopping for gifts, running out of time, way to much to do. Going into overload.

Weekend

Finally, the weekend is here!!!!!!!!!! :) And of course I leave the computer for five minutes (signed into the blog) and my brother puts up a post on it, then totally denied it!!!!!!!!!!! Not much planned for the weekend. Homework tomorrow night, Pilgrimage Sunday.

Not many people know what the Pilgrimage is so this a quick explianation. People who plan to walk the Pilgrimage collect pledges ffrom people. These pledges go to different places depending on which school you go to. My school walks from the school building to the market square, which takes about an hour. Since its 3 Catolic schools that meet there we have a mass. After that all 3 schools do a walk around town, that ends back at the market square where you can get lunch. When you're done you walk back to your school sign in and go home. Many people walk this because the money does towards a good cause, as well as the fact that you can get 5 hours toward your 10 hours of community service for the year. Sometimes the teachers will doing something wierd sing at an assembly~ always bad singers, some will wear the kilt and uniform for a day, one to start raising money shaved his head~ well known for his hair, the person who teaches the chem classes agreed to shave her head if the spare kids raise more money than her first class (which I'm in, we raised alot of money, even if it is per capita we should still beat them). This is one time of year when you see alot of school spirit.

Busy Week

Somehow I don't know how I'm going to get anything done. So far my week has been so busy. I have to finish a bio report for tomorrow, but I have to be at school for 5:30pm tonight so that I can go to a choir perfomance, which is manditory since I have decided to take chior as a credit course. Then I have a bunch of chem homework, and of course how much do I understand, none!!!!!!! Plus lucky for me I have already finished my part of the note for my law class project because that needs to be ready by Friday at the latest because I don't want to have to pay for the copies myself.

I really shouldn't be blogging right now if I have so much to do, but somehow it is easier to write it down somewhere because it makes it less stressful, something wierd that I noticed. Plus at this rate nothing is going to be finished, except maybe my bio report, I did get the info for it yesterday.

Been A While

Quite a long time actually. Well it can't be helped when the computer breaks down and it takes a couple of weeks to get back. Well school's school:

• Chemistry- actually not confusing me, its still mostly review though, and using more modern idea than those from the past two years.
• Biology- completely confusing, I was fine then we got to how energy is created by breaking bonds and became completely lost, had 2 quizzes, didn't know about either of them until today when I had to write them.So those marks will be lower. Almost failed a lab for handing it in late, but had my mark bumped back up because I explained I was sick. I went from 16/30(53%) to about 24/30 (80%- mark still unknown but the teacher said it would go up to about there, may still lose some marks though), that was lucky.
• English- one of my favourite classes, I can understand the language that is spoken (the language of the science world is very confusing). Right know the class is starting on poetry and for my ISU I'm reading Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw. It is really good and I would recommend it to anyone who likes to read.
• Lunch- I sit with my friends and talk about nothing important really, mostly bugging one friend by speaking French while she tries to review her Italian. Finish any homework for Law sometimes start on Chem because it takes forever to complete.
• Law- have barely learned anything in the class so far, some how we always manage to get off topic. The teacher finally learned my name, I was moved away from the back of the class room, so I can no longer be 'What's her face, the girl who sits at the back.'

School is fine, I will survive if I manage to stay awake. Homework is dreadful, the weekend is almost here. Of, course I'm happy that tomorrow is out of uniform, wearing the same outfit day after day becomes annoying.

If You Land on a Deserted Island...

Today in my Law class we had to discuss, in groups, about what to do on a deserted island (in the South Pacific). Of course you must find food, water, build a shelter (on high ground), make a fire, create tools to use, and of course the two guys in my group decided that you must also search for pirate treasure. The following question was what is the order of most importance:

1. Find food and water
2. Find high ground to build the shelter on (one guy suggested that somehow we build the shelter then find high gound)
3. Build the shelter
4. Make a fire to heat the water and maybe cook with
5. Create tools to kill animals for food as well as for protection
6. Find the pirate treasure, that is supposedly on this deserted island.

Then form a democracy, the person who believed he should be in charge wanted to build a shelter first than find high ground to build it on was also the guy who planned on finding pirate treasure so that if we were ever found we would be rich. If they can't take the assignment seriously (even though he swore he was being serious) I would hate to see what happens if they ever end up on a deserted island.

By the time we had finished 4 of the 8 questions the rest of the class was done and we (the girls) were trying to explian you don't need temperary shelter it was barely dawn.

So here's my question to you, if you were stranded on a deserted island what would you do, and do you think you would come across these problems????

Well, I have survived the first to days of gr.11. So now I am avoiding my homework by blogging. None of my friends are in my classes, but it's not so bad. Chem doesn't give any time to talk to people, bio I sit near a bunch of guys who never stop talking, even though they talk about nothing, I spend most of that class trying to keep from laughing 'cause I can hear their conversations loud and clear. English we get a seating plan tomorrow, they finally found a different classroom for the class, so I don't know who I sit near then. And law, I sit alone but it seems at lot of the work will be done in groups so that doesn't really matter. Beyond that school is school, uniforms are uniforms the normal grey pants, white shirt of course the school I attend is the only one that allows kilts but not the girl version [pants and shirts] of the uniform to be worn, which means its guys clothes 'til I graduate.

Well, school starts tomorrow. This is the last day of summer vacation before gr.11. Even though I have been going to high school for the past two years this year is different than those two. The bus routes have changed so I get to leave later (7:15 was just to early), and science is not all in one class. I'm just glad I didn't end up with three sciences in one semester. Oh well, I have to finish preparing for school.

School's Out (for me at least)

I have finally finished school. Exams are done. I return to the school for one day, to see how I did on my exams. Since the returning day is not manditory it is not part of school. No more thinking about anything for the next two months, this DOES NOT include reading. I get mad when people say reading is for people with no imagination of their own. Movies are for those with out imagination, especially ones based on books that are poorly done, then peopl;e say they like the movie, and when they are told the book is better they still will not read it. So yeah school's out and I have a plan to buy/ pick up (pre-order Harry Potter #7) and read like crazy. Anyone with good suggestions for books, leave a comment with title. And if your looking for any there are a few good ones in my profile.

Exams Are Here

The exams at my school are finally here. The best part is by this time next week, school will be out!!!!!!!!! 8D EAsy exams now, probably easier than last year. Seeing as the only subject that has gotten any harder is math. French had a few mroe grammer points added but that was all. Hopefully I'lll blog more after school is offically done. :) Better go study... :(

Summer is Coming But First...

It's a good thing that school is almost over. The bad part is the amount of final projects that teachers just love to give at my school. And the projects are always due on the same day or a day later. I had two due Friday and two due Monday, not inclucing the first two parts of the my Frech exam for Monday and Tuesday. Followed by exams Thursday and Friday. The entire semester is easy, than life becomes difficult right before exams. Oh well I better finish the projects and studying for exams. XD